10.28.2018

Are you blocking the LOVE you say you desire?


Last night I was in a deep meditation with the intention on healing and gaining clarity. My dad came through. I was being shown how much he loved and cared for me.
 
I felt love come in from him I didn’t even realize I had been holding back.
 
You see, I was part of a package deal when my dad met my mother. In the 70’s it wasn’t hip to be a teen mom. Back then, you might as well be wearing a bell bottom polyester suit with scarlet letters all over it.
 
My dad, a Vietnam veteran, was introduced to my mother by her BFF soon after he returned from the war. I understand he was smitten with her.
 
My mother, not so open to his desires, due to having trauma and abuse in her life, was weary.
 
Some things get passed down until someone decides to heal it.
 
Then there was me. Part of the package deal.
 
He signed on and adopted me when I was under 1 years old.
 
My biological father signed off on me upon learning of my conception. Thankfully. It insured his hands would never land on me.
 

My dad was someone I always felt like I could be myself around.

 
He passed suddenly 2 years ago, August 2016.
 
Because of my internal work, my soul determination, and who I’ve become, I can easily speak to my dad now at anytime. He and I are closer than ever.
 
I feel him watching over me, guiding me, cheering me on. He helped me open my heart.
 
Even last night.
 
You see, the storage in my phone is full. The system says it’s my voice notes storage.
 
Later last evening, I had an “inspired thought” to clear out my phone voice notes.
 
I started at the bottom – titled 2/14/12.
 
I play it. My dad’s voice comes through.

 

“Hi Kel, it’s me. I wish you a Happy Valentines Day. I hope everything is okay. Talk to you later. Have a happy day.”

 
I’m just remembering this as I type… when he connected with me in my meditation earlier, I asked him to send me a sign, to come through to me.
 
Then I let it go.
 
Later on, there he was. His voice and all. Thanks Dad. You.Fucking.Rock.
 
I share to encourage you be fucking determined to dig deep and clear what is in the way of you having what you say you desire. It is worth it.
 
Do not let anything get in the way of allowing in the love from those who love you. No matter where they are.
 
Because, what I know, if you’re holding back from one who loves you, you’re holding back from others who want to love you.

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