1.5.2017

How Buried Beliefs and Unhealed Wounds Play Out until Healed and Collapsed

“There is something I need to tell you”, he says. “I never filed for divorce”.  These words come through as she was ending the relationship.  This was important information he “had to get off his chest”.  Was it really necessary to share this now??  Could she have just walked away without knowing this?

Her heart sank.  The wool had been pulled over her eyes. Again.  Her stomach felt like it was being ripped out.  How could she have not known?  They were together nearly every day for six months; casually hanging out for a few months before that and friends from a long time ago.

She gave this man her heart, mind and body.  She allowed herself to trust him when he said  “the divorce is in progress. It is just a matter of time.  I love you. I have liked you for a long time.  I want to marry you.”  With that she had decided to move the relationship beyond a friendship.

In retrospect she sees how something was always kind of off.  She could never quite put her finger on it or have evidence of what was wrong.  But, there was a feeling.  She fought to be a part of his life beyond their relationship – to meet his friends, family, child.  She wanted to feel important to him.  Yet, the feelings she had were of shame and needing to be hidden – without evidence of why.

Hearing this information kind of flipped her world around and it at the same time it was a familiar experience. Looking back, it was necessary for her to hear and know this at this point in time.

This experience was familiar to a childhood experience, 30 years prior, where truths had been revealed that greatly impacted who she was and where she came from. An entirely different script had been revealed than what she had been living out.  The wool had been pulled from over her eyes.

The truth that had been revealed caused her to put up an invisible wall around her heart.  Not really allowing others to get too close – afraid she could be deeply hurt.  Buried beliefs had instantly been developed like – ‘there is something wrong with me’ (shame).

When we have buried beliefs, we do all we can to protect them and ourselves.  We put on fronts not wanting anyone to see what we believe about ourselves.  Unfortunately, these beliefs keep us from having what we truly desire in our lives.

Fast forward nearly a year later.  She attracts a great man into her life.  He is tall, handsome, funny, their humor and personalities fit well.  She gushes to her friends about how magical and fun it is.  Until… that wound, still not healed, raises it’s ugly head.

She creates an experience where she is questioning the new guys past and the details around his divorce.  Was he really divorced?  Why aren’t the numbers matching up to what he shared?

Buried beliefs about herself rise to the surface – she can’t trust who she chooses, she cannot allow herself to be happy.

In turn, the new guy, possibly triggered with his own stuff about his honesty being questioned, gets defensive and pulls away.

Exactly what her pattern and buried belief are built to do – keep her from getting close to another.  It is not about him at all – it is about her.  He is responding exactly how her program was built.

We are the creators of our lives.  As I said earlier, our higher self will help us attract into our lives the exact experiences and people to help us heal these wounds that keep us from allowing what we truly desire.  It is our divine right to enjoy life, experience love, have inner peace.

While our natural reaction may be to blame the other, they are the exact character in our life’s play to help bring down the walls around our hearts.  So while we may walk away or end a relationship that has caused us pain, we are actually being given an opportunity to go deeper within our hearts and align more with love.

Our minds will tell us this needs to be resolved with the other.  Truth is, it needs to be resolved within.  The experience is a manifestation of what is going on within.  Once the wound is healed and the buried belief is collapsed, the need to call in the experiences and people to help do that cease.

Who knows what will happen with this new guy.  He may have just come in to help reveal the buried beliefs and a layer of the unhealed wound.  Or he may be the one to help guide her deeper into love – with another and for herself.

Her mind naturally wants to prepare for the worst – another ending.

Yet, she knows the truth of the experience – she is the creator. She is healing and integrating the past parts of her that had been hurt.  She is focusing on the experience she truly wants to create.  This surely is threatening all her inner protective mechanisms.  Mechanisms that are no longer serving her in where she is headed.

It takes courage and commitment to see these parts of ourselves and drop the protection mechanisms.  Handling breakups and endings became easier as that was part of the pattern she had to keep herself safe.

Her opportunity now was to go into the unknown spaces of deeper love.  She is ready.

Better to have lost in love than never to have loved at all”.  The Eurythmics

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