Commitment Phobia. You Got It or Attracting It?

Wikipedia describes Commitment Phobia as:Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.

Do you find yourself attracting this “type” of partner and relationship over and over again?  You know, the type who seems open and interested in being in relationship until it begins to move toward a committed relationship?  You meet, go on a few dates, there is a connection, but it doesn’t go further?

Frustrating. Right?
“Why did he lead me on?”,
“Why can’t he just open his heart?”,
“Why can’t he figure out what he wants?”,
“Why won’t he tell me how he feels?”, and the heart breaking
“Why did he suddenly pull away?”

It’s not him. It’s you. Sorry, darling.  You attract based on the vibration and energy you have within yourself.

Your past pains, childhood wounds and buried beliefs – when you’re operating from these places, you’ll attract exactly what you’re afraid of or don’t want.  I know.  Why would you attract precisely what you’re afraid of?  Because it’s familiar; it’s what you know.  You either learned it or created it as a protection mechanism.

What you see in another is a mirror reflection of what is going on within you.

Reflecting back to you are your childhood wounds and past pains. They will repeat themselves through relationships and experiences until they are learned.  Buried beliefs, until identified and transformed, will continue to attract what is a match to that belief.  You must pay attention to your unconscious thoughts and beliefs – you create your life from this space.

Not sure what space you’re in? Take a look at what you’re experiencing and really dig deep and ask yourself “what are my true beliefs are about love, relationship, money, success?” There lies the power to change your life.  Change your thoughts and beliefs – your life changes.

Because of these buried beliefs, what is happening in one area of your life is happening in others – at some form or another.

What is happening for you?  How is your commitment to health, your workout routine, your business?  What is your commitment level to yourself?  This other person or situation is reflecting back to you what is going on within you.  I know it seems glaringly obvious it’s the other person who needs to change. Nope (trust me, I’ve spent way too much time and energy there). You it’s you.  You need to heal and change yourself and your experiences and relationships will change. Guaranteed.

If you’re currently in a relationship, it is totally possible for that relationship to shift and change.  As you heal, you help others heal.  As you release the walls you’ve built to keep yourself “safe”, you create a space for others to feel safe too.  Don’t give up on that relationship just yet.  Work on yourself and let go of trying to change another.  If you’re single, work on yourself – it’s the only person you have the ability to change.

What keeps you from changing are the deeper fears.   What are you afraid of?  Afraid to get hurt – Fear of being left – Fear of losing yourself?  All typical fears (shhh… I have a secret – everyone has these same fears).  Maybe you’re afraid of picking the wrong person.  How are these fears serving you?  Aren’t they precisely what is in your way to having what you really want? Love.

What do you really want?  You certainly don’t intend to search out someone to hurt you, but without healing the underlying wounds and pains, you attract just that – someone to help you heal them.

You can heal and change your experiences – in love, career, money, health.  You don’t have to attract partners and experienin to help you heal them.  It can be done on your own and it can happen quickly.  At some point you have to let go of what feels “safe”, let those walls down, and open your heart in order to allow yourself to experience something you deeply desire.

Would you rather roll the dice and lose or never roll the dice at all?

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