For those of you who know me, met me, or have been in the community for some time can sense how passionate I am about life, see how guininely happy I am, and how big my energy is.
What you might not know is I was once 100 pounds overweight, depressed, in a job I hated, and had little to no energy. There was no zest, no passion. I was just getting by. No wonder I was single!
It was when a very good friend said to me “you have to love yourself first”
and I baulked at her “I DO love myself!”.
There is always some truth in what people say. It takes courage to look within, but I had no other choice! I was not happy being settled in my life.
I began taking a deeper look at what she saw in me. I didn’t get it right away – I had regular manicures, massages, bubble baths, and had plenty of “me” time. Those are part of self-love and self-care, but what I was really
lacking was a relationship with me, a deeper connection to myself.
When I got really honest and looked at my life I saw the relationship I had with myself was reflected back to by those I attracted into my life – strangers, lovers, friends. They treated me how I treated myself! And it wasn’t pretty!
You teach people how to treat you by how you treat you. And not just the
“outter” stuff, but the inner stuff too.
I was angry, frustrated, and sad. I spent a lot of time and energy (and
tears) trying to change how others treated me. If they would only respect
me, honor my time, listen to me, (fill in blank here) then I would be happy and get along better with them! Ha!
Wrong! If you want to change your experience take a look at what those
you interact show you about you. We tend to point the finger at the other
person, but it’s really a mirror back for us to see what we can’t see within
ourselves.
I got brave and asked “how am I treating me?” Not so good.
I had to change! Me. Not anyone else. When I developed a deep respect for myself, honored my time by who I spent it with and what I did with it, and listened to myself and gave me what I needed, created healthy boundaries, let go of friendships and relationships that weren’t respectful, that is when my life and relationships changed. Everything – my health, romantic partners, friendships, pportunities, and money changed for the better.
I attracted better guys into my life, amazing friends, teachers, and mentors. Opportunities in my personal and professional life appeared. The places I felt stuck I was no longer stuck.
Life feels really magical to me now. Sure, there are the challenging times
that many of us are going through in this time of growth and expansion. It wasn’t from looking outside of me for things to change… it was I who had to be the person I wanted to be surrounded by in my life.
How can you improve your relationship with you?